When I was a child, my mother taught me a simple but life-saving trick: a secret code word I could use if I ever found myself in danger but couldn’t openly ask for help. I never had to use it, but the lesson stuck with me. Now, as a mother myself, I decided to pass this safety measure on to my daughter. I figured it might help her get out of an uncomfortable situation, like an awkward sleepover or a social gathering she didn’t feel safe in. What I never expected was that she’d need to use it so soon.
An Ordinary Day That Took an Unexpected Turn
Yesterday seemed like any other day. I was finishing my evening coffee in the kitchen when my phone rang. It was my ex-husband, Dave. Our relationship had cooled over the years since our divorce, but we maintained a civil dynamic for the sake of our daughter, Amy.
“Hey, Claire,” Dave said hesitantly. “Amy wants to talk to you. She’s been asking to tell you about her day since she got here.”
This caught me off guard. Amy usually enjoyed her weekends with her dad and rarely called me while she was there. A small knot formed in my stomach, but I pushed it aside.
“Oh, sure, put her on,” I said, keeping my tone light.
“Hi, Mom!” Amy’s voice was bright and cheerful, but something about it felt… off. It wasn’t just what she was saying—it was how she was saying it.
“Hey, sweetie! How’s your weekend going?” I asked, hoping to get a better sense of what was happening.
“Good! We went to the park yesterday, and this morning I drew some pictures. I drew a dog, a tree, and… I wish I had a blue marker so I could draw blueberries.”
That single word—blueberries—hit me like a shockwave. My heart pounded as I forced myself to stay calm. Blueberries was our code word. It meant: Mom, get me out of here. Now.
A Mother’s Instinct Kicks In
“That sounds great, honey,” I said, keeping my voice even. “I’m coming to get you. Don’t say anything to your dad. I’ll explain when I get there.”
Amy hesitated for a second before replying, “Okay, Mom. Love you.”
“Love you too, my Amy Wamy.” She giggled at the nickname, but I could hear the relief in her voice.
I hung up, my hands shaking. Something was wrong. Dave had always been a good father, but Amy had never used our code word before. I grabbed my keys and rushed out the door, determined to get my daughter home.
A Shocking Discovery
When I arrived at Dave’s house and knocked, I didn’t expect the door to be answered by a stranger. A woman, her expression unreadable, looked me up and down.
“Can I help you?” she asked curtly.
“I’m here to pick up my daughter. Is Dave home?”
“He just stepped out to run some errands. Amy’s inside. Who are you?”
“I’m Claire, Amy’s mom,” I replied, trying to stay calm. “And you are?”
Her expression hardened. “Lisa. Dave’s girlfriend. We’ve been living together for a few weeks now.”
I blinked. What? Dave had never mentioned having a girlfriend, let alone moving one in. And why hadn’t Amy told me about her? A hundred questions flooded my mind, but I pushed them aside. Right now, I needed to get my daughter out of there.
“Well, Lisa, I just remembered Amy has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” I lied, forcing a friendly smile. “I forgot to tell Dave, but I need to bring her home tonight.”
Lisa didn’t look convinced but shrugged. “Fine, but I’ll tell Dave.”
“Of course,” I said, stepping inside.
Amy was curled up on the couch, coloring. She looked up when she saw me, her face lighting up—not just with happiness, but with relief.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said, forcing my voice to stay light. “We need to get ready for the doctor tomorrow, remember?”
Amy nodded quickly, clutching her coloring book as she stood. She didn’t say a word as we walked out, and Lisa didn’t try to stop us.
The Truth Comes Out
As soon as we got in the car and I started driving, I glanced at Amy. “Are you okay, baby?”
At first, she nodded. But then the tension melted away, and she burst into tears.
“Mom… Lisa is mean to me when Dad isn’t around.”
My stomach twisted. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”
“She says I’m annoying. She tells me I shouldn’t be there and that if I tell Dad, he won’t believe me because I’m just a kid.” Amy wiped her eyes. “She told me to stay in my room and not bother them.”
Rage bubbled inside me. How dare this woman treat my child like that?
“You did the right thing by telling me, sweetheart,” I said, keeping my anger in check. “I’m so proud of you. You never have to stay there again if you don’t want to. I’ll talk to your dad, okay?”
Amy nodded, sniffling. “Okay, Mom.”
Confronting the Situation
Once we got home and Amy was settled in with her favorite stuffed animal, I called Dave. He answered on the third ring.
“Hey, Claire. What’s going on? Lisa said you picked up Amy early.”
“Yes, because Amy used our code word today, Dave.”
Silence. Then, “What?”
“She wanted to leave because Lisa has been saying awful things to her when you’re not around.”
“That can’t be right…” he said, his voice unsure.
“It is right. Amy was in tears. She was scared, Dave.”
Another pause. Then a sigh. “I had no idea… I’ll talk to Lisa. This isn’t okay.”
“No, it’s not,” I agreed. “But Amy is our priority. She needs to feel safe.”
“You’re right,” he admitted. “I’ll take care of it.”
Why Every Family Needs a Code Word
That night, I sat on the couch, exhausted but grateful. Because of our code word, Amy had a way to reach me when she needed help. I knew then that she needed her own phone—just a simple one for emergencies.
Having a code word with your child can be a lifesaver. Here’s how to set one up:
- Choose a unique word – Avoid common words that might come up naturally in conversation. Pick something random, like blue giraffe or dancing penguin.
- Make sure they remember it – Practice using it in different situations so they feel comfortable using it under stress.
- Reinforce that it’s only for real emergencies – They should only use the code word when they truly feel unsafe.
This experience was a wake-up call. It reminded me that sometimes, our children are dealing with things they don’t know how to say outright. Having a plan in place could make all the difference.
I hope our story encourages other parents to create a code word with their loved ones. It might just be the lifeline they need in a critical moment.